Domestic Violence

What is Domestic Violence?

All couples have conflicts from time to time, but domestic violence (or intimate partner violence) is a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure, or wound someone. Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, ethnicity, age, sexual orientation, religion, income level, or gender. It can occur within a range of relationships including couples who are married, living together, or dating.

Recognizing the signs of domestic violence

Does your partner…

• Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?

• Put down your accomplishments?

• Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?

• Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?

• Tell you that you are nothing without them?

• Treat you roughly: grab, push, pinch, shove, or hit you?

• Call or text you repeatedly or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?

• Track your location on an app?

• Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?

• Blame you for how they feel or act?

• Pressure you sexually for things you aren’t ready for or don’t like?

• Make you feel like there is “no way out” of the relationship?

• Prevent you from doing things you want – like spending time with friends or family?

• Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you somewhere after a fight to “teach you a lesson?”

Do you...

• Sometimes feel scared of how your partner may behave?

• Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behavior?

• Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?

• Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry? (I.e. walk on eggshells.)

• Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want because it’s just easier that way?

• Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke up?

Do you want to know more about power and control in relationships?

Click here for the general Power and Control wheel

Click here for power and control in relationships when the partner(s) are Black

Click her for power and control in relationships when partner(s) are disabled

Click here for power and control in LGBTQIA+ relationships

Click here for power and control when partner(s) are immigrants